


Anxious Stomach

by AshRain



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Disordered Eating, Eating Disorder, Food, Gen, Vomiting, nervous stomach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23360803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshRain/pseuds/AshRain
Summary: Virgil copes with his anxiety related food issues. It doesn't go too well.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 70





	Anxious Stomach

_Breakfast _.  
__

__Just another chore for Virgil. Just another social function he has to attend._ _

____

He’s tired, he just wants to roll over and sleep the day away but sleep had eluded him that night. He couldn’t sleep no matter how hard he tried, kept awake by his nerves.

____

Every little noise seemed like a threat, every single heartbeat thundered in his ears, too loud and frantic. He couldn’t breathe.

____

The light of day made it easier, allowing him to finally draw a breath and calm down. But still he couldn’t sleep. So he got up when Patton called, joining the other sides in the kitchen. He got a mug of coffee, trying to choke down the single pancake he had taken to placate Patton.

____

Objectively, Virgil knew that the pancakes were great. Patton took his role of Dad friend serious and as such took pride in supplying his ‘ _sons _’ with great food.__

______ _ _

Subjectively, Virgil was too anxious to appreciate the taste. Paired with sleep deprivation, the food tasted bland.

______ _ _

There was so much Thomas had to do that day. So much responsibility. So many people to talk to. So many dangers to avoid.

______ _ _

So much Virgil had to protect him from. He couldn’t afford to take a nap even if he could.

______ _ _

He missed most of the meal, too absorbed in his own thoughts to listen to the others. He jumped to attention when the others got up and went back to his room as quickly as possible.

______ _ _

His stomach tied itself in knots as it always did on more anxious days and Virgil hoped that none of the others would notice that he’d lost his breakfast barely half an hour after he’d consumed it.

______ _ _

_Lunch _was usually just as bad but Virgil was lucky. Patton had accompanied Roman to the imagination after preparing some sandwiches for Logan and Virgil, letting them know that there was food ready and available.__

________ _ _ _ _

Virgil stared at the food for a moment, alone in the kitchen. If he was honest, he was a little hungry, yes. But his stomach was still quite upset and he wasn’t keen on losing another meal.

________ _ _ _ _

So he left the sandwich in the fridge, instead grabbing a bottle of water. He had read somewhere that cold water could help with hunger. Time to put it to the test, it seemed.

________ _ _ _ _

He curled up into his beanbag chair in his room, using the calm of the day to listen to music. Maybe chilling out a little would help his nervous stomach enough to be able to handle dinner.

________ _ _ _ _

Of course he couldn’t completely sink into the music like he wished to do but he still had to keep an eye on Thomas. God knows what dangers were out there, Virgil had to make sure Thomas noticed as many of them as possible or he’d be careless and get hurt.

________ _ _ _ _

Virgil had to admit it after a while. The cold water trick hadn’t helped, not really. So now he was still hungry and still vaguely nauseous and too nervous to talk about it with Logan who might have been able to give him some information that actually helped.

________ _ _ _ _

He sighed. Today was just bad.

________ _ _ _ _

All too soon it was time for _Dinner _.__

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

By then Virgil felt less like a raging dumpster fire about to spew his insides everywhere so he braved the kitchen when Patton called, having returned with Roman.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

The sight of the food almost made him turn back and cry. He was so hungry, he hadn’t eaten since morning and he wanted to sit and eat with his family now that he wasn’t bursting with anxiety anymore.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

But Patton had made Brussel Sprouts.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Brussel Sprouts were bad.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Something about their smell repelled Virgil like nothing else and whenever he forced himself past that and ate some for Patton’s sake he almost threw up from the texture. Maybe it was just the way Patton prepared them but they were mushy but at the same time not but they weren’t crunchy either, they were in a horrible limbo of firmness and when he had one in his mouth and chewed on it it would almost disintegrate because the individual little leaves would come off the actual thing and it was just plain horrible.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

He didn’t want to disappoint Patton though. He always put so much effort into the food he made. Virgil could force himself to eat some Brussel Sprouts for his best friend and he could chase them with the other foods on the plate, it was fine.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

He was fine.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He was decidedly not fine _.__

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The Brussel Sprouts were made with some sort of sauce and the sauce touched all of the other foods on his plate.

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Virgil had nearly sobbed when Patton handed him his plate. He could ask to not have the sauce touch anything but everyone else already had their plates and Patton was already sitting down, it was too late to ask now. And regardless, it was liquid. There wasn’t much to be done about the fact that it was kinda running all over the plate, contaminating everything else.

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He kept his head low, diligently shoveling bite after bite into his mouth until he had cleared at least a quarter of his portion. It wasn’t enough for him to be full but he nearly gagged at the taste and feel of the Brussel Sprouts so he stopped before he actually did throw up again.

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He excused himself, claiming to be _just not really hungry today Pat _.__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The lie settled heavier in his stomach than the food had and he went back to his room, laying down to try and sleep.

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

At least if he was asleep he couldn’t feel hungry. With the barest hint of luck, he could eat tomorrow.

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

But then again, that’s what he had told himself yesterday.

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And the day before that.

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And many times before even that.

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to find me on tumblr @ashrain5


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